Back in issue 4 we published the below article on the IFA. In every issue since we have published more tales of the ineptitude, farce and absurdities that run our international side. Read on and weep:

Between the wars Hugh Davey and Billy McConnell of Reading travelled back to Belfast for an international via London. As usual they put in for expenses to the I.F.A., Hugh Davey recalls: "Three bob for a taxi and half a crown for a meal. As soon as we sent the bill, the officials were on to us saying it was far too much, and we'd have to cut down for the next game or we wouldn't be sure of our places in the team! We just laughed."

Has anything really changed with the I.F.A. over those sixty odd years? Form the top to the bottom the ineptitude dismays me. Ask your dad and he will confirm, 'sure it's always been like that'. Well it's about time these little men in cheap suits were taken to task and dragged into the nineties by somebody who doesn't have to get their tongue surgically removed from the I.F.A collective arses first.

Let's start with the only point of contact for many to the I.F.A., the girls on the front desk. It might be helpful ladies, to keep a fixture list handy with dates, venues etc. on it for inquiries from supporters. Just before booking a trip to Spain for the Santander friendly, I phoned the I.F.A. to confirm the date and venue. This had been already published in the press, but I was just double-checking. Young lady on the front desk "No nothing has been confirmed yet." I ask to speak to someone else. I'm put through to a bloke with an English accent. "Santander, third of June but no kick-off time yet."

One of our mainland readers also phoned to confirm dates after World Soccer printed the wrong dates and was told: "No, they are not playing in Spain but play Bulgaria on the 27th of May"!! Perhaps she meant Rumania on the 30th of May. A member of the press has privately compared them to taxi controllers. 'It will be there in 10 minutes' has been replaced with 'He's in a meeting.'

The International Committee. Ha, does anybody know who these people are. We have been told on good authority that many of this shower had never been out of the country prior to travelling with Northern Ireland. Apparently a couple of years ago when we played Liechtenstein, one committee member was introduced to a Liechtenstein F.A. official and asked very slowly an deliberately "DO-YOU-SPEAK-ENGLISH?" The Liechtenstein official, no doubt fluent in German, Italian, English and most likely French, replied "Yes. Do you?" This is the type of yokel representing us at an official capacity, remember.

I can remember outside the team hotel in Latvia taking the piss out of this Latvian in a seventies suit with outstanding 'Randall and Hopkirk' flares and a collar which would have got him airborne with one strong gust of wind. Pretty trendy for Latvia I said, only to discover the bloke was a member of our International Committee! All very amusing I'm sure you will agree but perhaps more serious is the incident on the team bus when one committee member turned to the press and asked who was the young lad with the ginger hair. Steve Lomas came the despairing reply.

What about the alleged story of Jimmy Nicholls application for the managers job after Bingham retired. Jimmy Nic was phoned by somebody at the I.F.A. and told to get over to Belfast the next day, the committee were meeting that night to appoint the new manager an he was expected to be appointed. When the committee read Jimmy Nic's application it was rejected with four words, 'Too expensive, next candidate'. Bryan Hamilton was named manager the next day. Jimmy Nic not even discussed or a compromise no his demands attempted.

Boyce and Bowen, the Laurel and Hardy of international football. The buck stops with them, where do you start? Take the sacking of Gerry Armstrong, his girlfriend in Sussex was phoned to inform him that he was sacked, Boyce didn't even know Armstrong was in Northern Ireland on a coaching course! Finger on the pulse, eh.

At the recent NIFSA meeting Boyce was questioned about the supporters game last August which the I.F.A. choose to ignore. He stated that he was embarrassed that he knew nothing about it. Can we take from that then that the chairman of the I.F.A. does not read or perhaps even receive his personal mail at Windsor Ave and doesn't read the local newspapers. Herr Hannas of the German F.A. and Mr Wills, the FIFA observer knew all about the game and attended so how come Mr Boyce didn't?

What about all the talk of Brazil, Argentina and Italy coming over prior to the World Cup, did anybody expect even one of them to come? Why didn't we get Jamaica, a sure ground filler, over. They played QPR, Wales and soon Man City. Where they even considered? No ambition.

When you cant' fill a stadium the day a new stand is opened and we play the European champions, questions need to be asked. The game was clearly not going to be a sell out, perhaps many were put off by the £20 ticket price. Hardly surprising when a father deciding to take his two sons to the game, a week prior to the kick off was expected to shell out £60 for tickets alone. The family section sold out almost immediately so why couldn't M. Bowen get onto the local media when it became apparent that the game wasn't a sell out and offer cut price family tickets. Was he waiting for a last minute rush on £20 tickets or just inept?

In TAWSIE#3 we covered the views of one supporter on merchandising which we fully agreed with. We are always given the excuse of lack of money at the IFA, so shy hasn't the merchandising avenue of profit been explored? Linfield have a club video, even Doncaster Rovers have a club video, so why the hell do we not have a 1980-1986 video? What about a Web site, containing details of future games, tickets, info no players etc. The official souvenirs could even be advertised to a world wide audience creating more revenue.

Mr Bowen, perhaps this is all too much for you to take in sitting in your comfy office. After all you're the man who hasn't the decency to reply to supporters letters and cant' even sort out the fact that you can't buy a Northern Ireland shirt in Belfast sports shops. No ambition.

Finally, take a look at the Slovakian programme, £1.50 I notice so the £2 price for the German game was just a one off eh? I produce this fanzine on a limited budget, I make mistakes which can be only expected, but when the official programme with all it's advertising revenue, can't even get players names correct and print the correct dates for future fixtures, something is seriously wrong.

The buck stops with Boyce and Bowen, sort it out now.